ADHD Therapy in Fitzrovia, From a Therapist Who Has It
- Matthew Frener
- Apr 23
- 8 min read
Last updated: 23rd April 2026
TL;DRThis article explores ADHD therapy from a neuroaffirming perspective. As a therapist with lived experience of ADHD, I bring a personal understanding of how ADHD shapes daily life, relationships, and self-perception. Rather than viewing ADHD as a deficit to be corrected, my approach embraces neurodiversity and works with your brain, not against it. If you're looking for an ADHD therapist in Fitzrovia, London who truly gets it, this article explains what that kind of therapy looks like in practice. |
I was late to lunch.
Not unusually late - just late enough that my two friends, both therapists themselves, noticed. We had barely sat down when one of them asked, almost in passing: "Have you ever been assessed for ADHD?"
The other one nodded.
What struck me wasn't the question itself. It was the timing. The night before, I had dreamed I was diagnosed with ADHD. I woke up, thought nothing of it, mismanaged my morning, and arrived at lunch late. And then two people who know me well - who know how therapists think, what to look for, and how to ask - said the same thing, independently, within minutes of each other.
I sought an assessment shortly after and did indeed have ADHD.
I had spent years working with neurodiverse clients. I understood ADHD clinically, theoretically, practically. And yet it had never occurred to me that I might have it. I had assumed that if it were true, school would have flagged it. Family would have noticed. Someone would have said something.
No one had.
And so I had spent a long time believing that the ways I struggled - the difficulty finishing things I had started with full enthusiasm, the impulsivity, the emotional intensity, the sense that I could never quite relax - were character flaws. Evidence of something wrong with me.
The diagnosis reframed all of it.
Not as something wrong with me, but as something different for me.
This article is about what that reframe means when the person sitting across from you in the therapy room has been through it too.
A Different Operating System
Steve Silberman, in his 2015 TED Talk on neurodiversity, offered a metaphor that has stayed with me: "Just because a PC is not running Windows doesn't mean that it's broken."
Neurotypical brains and neurodivergent brains are not better or worse versions of the same thing. They are different operating systems. Neither is defective.
The problem arises when you spend your whole life trying to run iOS software on a Windows machine, wondering why nothing quite works the way it should, concluding that the fault must be yours.
(Techies, please refrain from inserting your opinion here - this is just a metaphor.)
For many adults who receive an ADHD diagnosis later in life, this reframe is important. Not the label itself, but what the label undoes. Years of being told you are lazy, irrational, dramatic, impulsive, unable to finish what you start. Years of interpreting ordinary ADHD traits (time blindness, emotional reactivity, difficulty with sustained attention on low-interest tasks) as personal failures rather than neurological differences.
The relief I felt at diagnosis was not just personal. It was the relief of finally having a piece of the puzzle I had not known was missing.
What It Means That Your Therapist Has ADHD
I want to be honest about why I am telling you this, and what it actually means in practice, because "lived experience" can become a hollow phrase if it is not grounded in something specific.
Here is what it concretely changes:
I recognise masking. Many adults who are diagnosed late (particularly women, and particularly those who have succeeded professionally) have spent decades performing neurotypicality. Arriving on time. Appearing organised. Keeping the chaos invisible. The exhaustion of that performance is profound, and it often presents in therapy as low mood, burnout, or a vague sense that something is wrong without being able to name it. I know what masking looks like because I have done it. A therapist who has not masked does not always see it.
I do not misread time blindness as disrespect. Being late, losing track of a conversation, forgetting things, these are neurological, not moral. I do not bring unconscious judgment to them, because I have been that person arriving flustered and ashamed at the lunch table.
I understand Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. The intense emotional pain that comes with perceived criticism or failure is one of the most disabling aspects of ADHD for many adults, and one of the most frequently misunderstood. It can look like emotional instability, over-reaction, or borderline traits to a clinician who is not familiar with it. I stay with your lived experience holding this in mind.
I follow energy, not agendas. ADHD brains are not linear, and neither are ADHD sessions. I am genuinely comfortable with conversations that move sideways, circle back, or arrive somewhere unexpected. I do not need to redirect you to a predetermined point. Often the tangent is where the real material is.
I have sensory tools in my consulting room. Not as a token gesture, because physical movement and sensory engagement genuinely support regulation for many ADHD brains, and I know this from the inside. If you need to fidget, move, or do something with your hands while we talk, that is not a problem to be managed. It is just how some of us think.
I understand the shame-procrastination loop. Many of my clients do not procrastinate because they are lazy. They procrastinate because the shame of potentially failing is so overwhelming that not starting feels safer. Addressing only the behaviour, without touching the shame underneath it, does not work. I know this because I have lived it.
On Disclosure
Occasionally, clients ask me directly whether I have ADHD.
When that happens, I do not deflect. I get curious first about what the question means to them, what it would change, what they are hoping to hear. Because the answer matters differently to different people. For some clients, knowing that their therapist shares their diagnosis changes something fundamental in the room. The sense of having to explain everything from scratch, of being the expert on your own condition because no one else really gets it, lifts.
Clients who have learned I am neurodivergent have consistently told me it mattered. Not because it made me more qualified in a technical sense. Because it made them feel less alone.
That is not a small thing when you have spent years being told that the way your brain works is a problem to be fixed.
There Is No Single ADHD Experience
The most important thing I can tell you about working with ADHD is this: there is no single version of it.
ADHD presents differently in every person. It is shaped by gender, by life stage, by co-occurring conditions, by the environments you have navigated, by how long you went undiagnosed and what stories you told yourself in that time. Some of my clients are visibly restless. Others appear entirely still while their internal experience is chaotic. Some hyperfocus with extraordinary intensity and then cannot start the next task at all. Some have been high achievers their whole lives and are only now, in their thirties or forties, running out of the coping strategies that got them this far.
The goal of therapy is not to make your iOS brain run like Windows. It is to help you find the tools, environments, and ways of working that align with how you are actually wired, so that you are working with yourself, not against yourself.
That looks different for every person. Which is why I work integratively, drawing on whatever approach is most useful for the individual in the room, not applying a single model to every presentation.
What to Expect in Sessions
If you are considering getting in touch, here is what the process looks like.
We begin with an initial consultation, a relaxed, unstructured conversation in which you can share what is bringing you to therapy and I can get a sense of how I can best support you. There is no assessment form to complete beforehand, no questionnaire to score yourself against. I am interested in you as a whole person, not a checklist of symptoms.
From there, sessions are fifty minutes, either in person at my consulting room in Fitzrovia (W1) or online. I work with adults only. Sessions are flexible in structure, I do not impose a rigid agenda, and I adjust pace, focus, and approach as we go. If something is not working, let's talk about it and see if we can change it.
I also offer online therapy for clients across the UK who cannot access in-person sessions in Central London.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the difference between ADHD therapy and ADHD coaching?
Coaching tends to focus on practical strategies, productivity, and goal-setting. Therapy goes deeper - exploring the emotional and relational patterns that have developed around your ADHD, including shame, self-esteem, attachment, and the impact of years of misunderstanding. Many people benefit from both at different points. I offer therapy, not coaching, though my approach is practical as well as exploratory.
Can therapy help with late-diagnosed ADHD in adults?
Yes - and in many ways, therapy is particularly well-suited to adults who are diagnosed later in life. A late diagnosis often comes with a significant amount of grief, relief, or re-evaluation of your history. Therapy can provide a space to process all of that, not just to develop coping strategies.
What is a neuroaffirming therapist?
A neuroaffirming approach means I do not treat your ADHD as a deficit to be corrected. I work from the understanding that neurodivergent brains are different, not broken - and that the goal is to help you live well with your neurology, not to approximate neurotypicality.
Do I need a formal diagnosis before starting ADHD therapy?
No. Many adults I work with are in the process of seeking a diagnosis, or have a strong sense that ADHD is relevant to their experience without yet having formal confirmation. You do not need a letter from a psychiatrist or GP to begin.
Where is your practice, and do you offer online sessions?
I see clients in person at my consulting room in Fitzrovia, Central London (W1), and online for clients across the UK.
What does it mean that you have ADHD yourself?
Given that I am a therapist that has ADHD means I am not approaching your experience from the outside. I understand - not just theoretically, but practically - what it feels like to have a brain that works differently in a world that was not designed with that in mind. That does not make me your therapist because of my diagnosis. It means that when you walk in, you do not have to start from the beginning.
If This Sounds Like You
If you are a late-diagnosed adult trying to make sense of what your diagnosis means - or if you have been carrying the weight of being called lazy, dramatic, or too much for most of your life - I would be glad to hear from you.
ADHD therapy in Central London, Fitzrovia, and online is available now.
Initial consultations can be booked via the enquiry form below.
You do not have to explain everything from scratch.
For more on the evidence base for ADHD therapy, see Therapy for ADHD in Fitzrovia - Evidence-Based Best Practices. For more on the neuroaffirming approach, see ADHD Counselling in London.
To find out more about how I work, visit the About page or get in touch.
